DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK

Have you ever met someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you're going to pull your hair, jump around the room and just shout loudly, ' I'm not pleased to work with you! ' You're not alone. I used to be concerned about such circumstances years ago. "Why are these people so hard?" "These people are so irresponsible!" "Just my luck working with them" or "I don't want to work with them again!” After a while, I learned that these people are everywhere. No matter where you go, you can never hide from them. Even if you change the job, you will find this type of person in your new environment.

Difficult personalities come in all shapes and sizes. They can be quite indirect, non-verbal, or appear as though everything is fine, such as a passive-aggressive employee, or very “in-your-face”, attacking and explicit. Many would be surprised to know that it isn’t inevitably the less productive people that have difficult personalities. Very successful workers are also prone to personality traits that cause barriers, conflicts and a lack of synergy within an organization. Dealing with difficult personalities at work is something everyone can relate to but perhaps one of the hardest things to overcome. So, let’s get the ball rolling: how do I handle a difficult personality at work?

The Office Gossip

Just stay out of it. Don’t entertain the gossip when they are looking for an ear to listen, don’t share anything you’ve heard, and don’t give them any information you don’t want to get out to the whole office. Just steer clear and play it safe.

The Control Freak

To make things easier for yourself, try giving them clear, detailed reports and updates on projects. Avoid any ambiguity that may cause them to feel the need to tighten the reigns and get over-involved. Also, when possible, let go of control on projects that don’t mean as much to you. It might make your life easier and may mean more to them to have control.

The Blame Shifter

Try to clearly discuss the details of the project, for example, who is responsible for what, what the deliverables are, and when they are due. That way, it is evident when they are slacking. If the situation does arise that you were involved in, the fastest way to disarm the Blamer Shifter is by taking responsibility for your mistakes before they can use them against you.  Most of your coworkers will respect your ability to acknowledge your shortcomings and the Blamer Shifter will be all out of ammo.

The Narcissist

Narcissists are self-driven and motivated by their personal goals. They can be quality teammates when they believe it is in their best interests. No matter what you choose to do, be realistic about what to expect from this person. Do not try to change them, force them to see their errors, or expect something different from them just because they rub you the wrong way. Accept the reality and work accordingly.

The workplace inevitably consists of people of differing personalities. Sometimes this results in smooth sailing; sometimes not. Nobody wants to work in a company that has a toxic work environment. Working with difficult people isn't something anyone enjoys, but it’s probably something you’ll have to face at some point. When it comes to dealing with difficult coworkers, it's important to remember that “fighting fire with fire” is never a good idea. Often it just causes even more work stress. So, take a smart strategy to handle them.

THE REWARD OF PATIENCE

Assalamualaikum guys,

How are you? Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Topic for today is about patience or in the Arabic language, (Sabr). The patience is mentioned at many places in Quran and Sunnah of the beloved Prophet (SAW), which shows the virtues and greatness of Patience. Patience is of the best from deeds and has the great reward with no limit. In this world, we face many difficulties or trials and sufferings but we have to be patient because Allah Almighty loves those who did Patience (Sabr) in a difficult time. 

So many times in our lives something happens to us and we feel that this is the worst thing that can happen to us. But then after the trial, when relief and ease come, we realize that the difficult times had happened for good to come.  So, it is important that believers have to be patient and know that Allah (SWT) is sufficient for us and is the best arranger of all our affairs. He will guide us to that which is good for us in this life and Hereafter too.

Yes, many times in life, hardships befall us. It sometimes feels like difficulties add up on one another and the light at the end of the tunnel, is merely a hallucination. That is what I felt when I am totally jobless and have no money to spent on my basic expenses. I had applied so many jobs vacancy over almost 2 years but no feedback and outcome. Sometimes I felt so useless but I know that I have to pray to Allah to ease everything.  Patience is my aid and are told to seek help through it. This necessarily means that patience will get us through an ordeal or a difficulty. It may not be easy, but those who try also have the help of Allah.

Yes, again, my prayer is answered! My patience and sabr is rewarded! I get a job with good salary at a very established company. Alhamdulillah. This is what we call the power of patience. Have faith in Allah. The ones who have the patience without complaining will be greatly rewarded whereas the one who was not patience will receive nothing.

So in times of hardships and difficulties when you think all is lost and there is no hope, remember to have patience. In due time Allah will relieve you of all worries, and you will receive rewards a million in multitude for bearing it with patience.

Remember, Allah is always with you!

HOW TO HANDLE DIFFICULT PEOPLES

We all have difficult people in our life who drives us nuts! We all have at least one in our life, someone who drains our energy with their never-ending dramas leaving us feeling exhausted, frustrated, discontent and unproductive. In fact, it is annoying. Have you ever thought, “They have to be the most miserable person in the world?” They are often very miserable. They come in every variety that you can imagine. Your friends, family, colleagues, neighbors and even unknown person.

Below are the types of difficult people that I have experienced in my life.

 THE CHRONIC COMPLAINER

Why I said they are the chronic complainers? This is because they always have something bad to say. They complain, critique and judge. Nothing's ever good enough for them. They love to focus on problems and ignore solutions. They are almost impossible to please. It is a huge challenge for those around them. Trying to remain positive, motivated and productive amid a constant stream of complaints and dissatisfaction can try anyone's patience. It’s hard to be positive when you have someone complaining in your ear all day. Nothing good in their life.

How I deal this chronic complainer?

First of all, please bear in mind that not all chronic complainer is a negative people. So, don’t judge them but listen. You need to show that you care about what they’re saying. Even if the complaints seem ridiculous and pointless, do not roll your eyes. Instead, nod your head and say things like, “I hear you,” or “I understand you”. Just listen, nod, and show that you’re validating their complaints. Then I change the subject of the conversation without making it obvious that I don’t want to hear their problem for the millionth time. It gets frustrating hearing the same complains over and over while they reject your advice, so it’s important to set your boundaries with chronic complainers. Eventually, you are not responsible for the happiness or well-being of others.

THE SUPER-AGREEABLE

What about the persons who are super nice and smilingly agree with your ideas until some action is required, then they back down or disappear? This is the "people-pleaser" who over-promises and never delivers. They avoid conflict at all costs, are outgoing, sociable, personal with others, and very attentive. They will tell you things that are good to hear and then let you down by making unrealistic commitments.

How I deal with this kind of people?

Avoid them!!

THE KNOW IT ALL EXPERT

Know-it-alls are those irritating people who act as if they are experts on every topic — even when evidence and behaviors prove otherwise. They can’t fool all the people all the time. But they can fool some of the people enough of the time, and enough of the people all of the time – all for the sake of getting some attention. They know how to learn just enough about a subject to sound like they know what they are talking about. They are addicted to exaggeration as an attention-getting technique. They demonstrate their self-ascribed superiority in a wide variety of ways, including dominating conversations, offering unwanted advice, being argumentative in meetings and bossing loved ones and co-workers around.

How did I deal this kind of people?

First of all, Don’t take it personally and avoid arguing by asking the right questions. Show your respect for his/her competence but don’t put yourself down. Don’t waste your time with this type of difficult people. Again, avoid them if you can!!

Actually, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important. Be a difficult people will take away a lot of the goodness in our lives. Grateful attitudes, contentment, and a positive outlook on life can change into a person with a great attitude.

POSITIVE MINDSET. POSITIVE VIBES. POSITIVE LIFE.

Positive mindset is a healthy mental and emotional state that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive outcomes. Positive mindset is not a notion that everyone believes and follows. Some people consider it as boloney and laugh at people who believe it. I do believe that we need positivity in our life. I believe that a person with positive mentality can overcome any obstacle and difficulty. What you need to do is adopt the attitude of positive mindset in everything you do. Believe me! The power of positive mindset is remarkable. It helps your life to be more easy and less stressful!!

Positive vibes come when we push away all negative thoughts, words and attitude which create unhappy feelings, moods and behavior. When a negative event occurs, remember always look for the positive reaction or be optimistic. Rather than getting distressed and accusing someone else for what has happened, why not take control over our emotions by saying, “What can I learn from this experience?”. Looking on the bright side is vital when things go wrong and please surround yourself with someone who spreads positivity. Stay away from negative people! Make friends with who exercise positive mindset. It helps when you interact with people who keep a positive outlook in life.

Life is laden with a wide variety of circumstances and experiences. Some of it trigger great feelings and thoughts while others set off an endless flow of negativity. It is up to you to decide whether you allow the negativity to grow inside you or you suppress it. The power is in your hands. 

When your mind is filled with positive affirmations, you are more likely to handle all the problems and obstacles with little to no stress. The power of positive mindset is so gigantic and deniable that it can turn your apparently unhappy life into the happiest one. Whenever negativity kills us, positivity heals us. If you have a positive mindset, it will project positive vibes and you will certainly lead to a positive life. You are what you think. Only you can change your life.

SELF- DEVELOPMENT IS VITAL : ASK YOURSELF

In order for things to change in your life, in order to pursue where you want to be, you have to be into the person who is ready for the change. Self- development is vital to your success and has presented many opportunities in our lives. But where do you start if you want to begin your self-development journey? Some people felt wrong to change. It is not easy to build self-improvement. Actually, by starting with simple ones will give you boost and can enhances your confidence.

How can you figure out in which direction you need to develop yourself and grow now and in the nearest future and what your priorities are? Only by analyzing your current life and figuring out what kind of life you want to lead in the future, as well as what you need to do to get there. I believe that the first action is to take some time to self-reflect. Ask yourself.

What I want in my life?

What I want to be?

What I want to change?

How are my finances?

How are your relationships with family and friends?

Once you’ve had time to reflect, write down your thoughts and by putting those thoughts down on paper helps them to become real and will encourage you to follow them further. I also always ask myself, what I want in my life when I felt down. Self-reflect is so important in order to get better self-development journey.

Next is take a step. Just take a step. Taking a step is a start of moving your dream forward. Although you can never guarantee that all actions will result to success but it’s always much better than not doing anything. You will muster the courage to face your fears in the process of making small steps of action. Taking a step shows you are making a commitment. A commitment reflects the changes that we are ready to absorb in our life that really pleases you and keeps you happy. As keeping your soul happy will definitely build a happy and joyful personality and the surrounding environment happy. Once you make a commitment, some of the incredible doors will open for you.

For examples:

Build on your strengths:  I love reading and writing. Previously I don’t’ any idea that writing can be expand into digital media. So, what I do is create a blog and start posting my writing. How? I take a step by searching all the information regarding blog writing. Actually, constantly working on your skills will give rise to the ability where an individual will become master of his or her unique skills.

Overcome your fear and negative thoughts: We all know that no one is perfect in this world. Everyone on this earth have some fear and this fear thus retards the overall self-development. Hence you should always work and focus on the positive side of every aspect.  As for me, I have revenge issues and they’ve been destructive to some important relationships. To overcome this matter, what I do is find and talk to someone who is I think have positive vibes. Don’t be ashamed to call your longtime friend that you never reach out previously. You would be surprised that this friend will help you on your situations.

Forget the past: We often see people around us regretting for the things that they have performed in the past, in the form of mistakes, commitments, etc. which harm the self-development. So do I. I also have experienced down side when I resigned my job in 2016 as Department Manager in one of biggest retail store in Malaysia. Then I noticed that it won’t help me to find a new job.  Again, Self-reflect.  Hence, one should always focus on the present situations, leaving back the past. So, we should not spoil today’s happiness remembering the past.

Holiday: How about a break from the same, boring, tiring and stressful day or situation? You can plan a small vacation or holiday to please the body and refresh the mind, which in turn will automatically increase the graph of output that is being liberated by our body. Believe me, it always works. You will feel more motivated and will decrease some burden in your mind.

The life is competitive and tough you have to get tougher to achieve those higher goals. That is why crucial for everyone who aspires to accomplish anything have to make numerous attempts and keep on trying even after failing, when it comes to goals that truly matter to you. I know very well what it feels like when you cannot achieve a goals or what you want, you will spend days and nights thinking about it but I also know that there is only one solution to not let the absence of the desired outcome take your enthusiasm away from you. Just do things that are good for you, so you will become happy and healthy. You need the change to positive mindset. The moment you claim personal responsibility over your life, you will learn the importance of steering your own ship. You will start to make decisions for yourself and end up feeling less stressful and happier. We live in a digital information age. All the information is at our finger tips. Reflect. Research. Take a step and make on your own journey.

LIFE IS A STRUGGLE : I AM HERE

Life will always be full of challenges and obstacles. Life is a struggle. Life is fragile. Hard times are inevitable. Having people that you can be yourself around and share your struggles and your heart will helps you to grow in so many different ways. Just like how surrounding yourself with people who aren't life giving can stunt who you are and surrounding yourself with people who do breathe life into you can help you flourish. It is important to have people speak truth into your heart, when you aren't able to do that for yourself. When we listen and care for one another, it can deeply affect someone who may not be having the best day.

A lot of us go through a phase where we feel stuck and at that point, we would love someone to talk to us and tell us that everything will be okay. It’s nice to be there for someone when they need you the most. Just be with them. Listen. Ask them to vent it all out. Hard times happen because we spent all our emotions in. Give them the permission to wail, cry, talk, shout and do anything and you just patiently put them with you.

Pain is an integral part of life. If someone is going through hard time and you are not in a position to help or do something, then the best you can do that is be with them and let them feel that they are not alone. Any pain takes time to heal. Give the person enough time and please don’t judge them. Being honest about it, whether it’s advice, or just a willing ear and a big hug, is the best. Sometimes, “I’m here for you” is honestly all that’s needed for someone to know that someone out there cares about them. Be patient and the maximum you can do is give them a hope that you are with them and you will be available for them whenever they are in need.

In hard times, it is important to have people to talk to which continue to push you back to God. I have been in that frozen state of difficulty and I still have it. Trapped between the fears. Trapped in the place where it is hard to breathe. It is like my soul is collectively tired. Numb. I will say that in that times when I am discouraged and do not “feel” like sharing…I go back to the days God had my back. Even in the worst of times, He ALWAYS came through. I think back on that, and have FULL CONFIDENCE, in His love for me, I know that although I may not see the end result in times of discouragement, I know it will work out and work out for the good. Yes, this is the number one encouragement that you need in your life. 

SAL’S THERAPY OF WRITING: WHY?

Why I created new blog? Why I didn’t write in the same blog? My answer is the content of the blog. I think it would be appropriate to create new blog for my personal writing about life motivation and inspiration experiences. My other blog’s content was most about food, music and travel. So, created new blog is totally a good choice.

Why I wrote my content in English Language? Why I didn’t write in Malay Language? My answer is I would like to improve my English Language by writing. At the same time, I can gain more viewers from around the world.  

Why the title of this blog is ‘SAL’S THERAPY OF WRITING’? This is because I need to express my feeling, opinions and release what is on my minds freely.  Instead of talking to someone else, why not I write all in this blog and I can get comments from different people with different perspectives. That’s is my type of therapy.

So, hope you guys can support me in this new blog.

Thanks.